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   Events
Upcoming Event Info:

Atlanta, TBD

Coming Soon



Morehouse School of Medicine

MARTA: Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority
William R. Stayton
Executive Director
Welcome to the “21st Century Challenges to Sexuality and Religion” conference website.

This seminar has been my dream for 35 years – bringing the fields of sexuality and religion into creative dialogue. Its purpose is to bring together individuals involved in sexuality and in religion to discuss (and hopefully integrate into curriculum) some of the vital challenges that face both the sexuality field and religious institutions.

Click here to read more...

   Mission
unlimitedloving.com is committed to:
  1. Providing forums for the dialogue between religion and sexuality
  2. Developing, educating, and supporting leaders
  3. Expand sexuality education in faith communities
  4. Provide technical assistance and support for research and education regarding sexuality and religion.
   Faculty
Stayton, William, M.Div., Th.D., Ph.D.
Turner, Yolanda, M.A.,
Doctoral Candidate
Wilson, Pam, MSW
Aguilar, Daniel Pascoe, M.Div., M.S., Doctoral Candidate
Pascoe, Sari, Ph.D.

Blog

Safety Tips When Having Multiple Partners

For some people using sex toys such as dildos, vibrators, fleshlights, whips and handcuffs are acceptable when exploring sexuality. However there are people that want to take this to the next level. They engage in practices like BDSM, swinging or even having multiple partners. While there is nothing wrong with engaging in such acts, physical as well as emotional safety should be practiced by all participants during sexual acts. Here are some tips on how to stay safe while having multiple sexual partners.

Get Tested

Getting regular blood tests when having multiple partners should be practiced by everybody involved. This is not just to stay healthy but also to keep your partners healthy. Keep in mind that it is not just you that has multiple partners, your partners could also engage in other activities that could endanger your health. Ask them for blood tests results before engaging in sex.

Use Protection

Protection such as condoms, dental dams and the like should be used during the sexual acts by all people involved. Even if the blood test results are clean, always insist that condoms or other forms of protection be used. Remember that it is not just your health at stake. Also, STI such as herpes, HIV and genital warts are incurable. Their symptoms can be managed but infections can occur from time to time.

What Teenagers Should Know About STIs

Good Hygiene

Aside from using condoms and getting blood tests, one way to keep safe while having multiple sexual partners is by practicing good hygiene. When engaging in anal sex for example it is always better to clean the area including the rectum with soap and water to ensure that it is fecal-free. Even simple hygiene practices like washing the genital areas and hands to ensure that they are clean before touching can be very beneficial.

Sex Toy Maintenance

Sex toys such as dildos, fleshlights, vibrators and other devices that are inserted into the human body should also be maintained and ensured that they are clean before being used. Dildos and fleshlights for example contain material that can degrade over time. To ensure that they are still in perfect working condition, it is best to check them for cracks and other imperfections in the plastic or silicone. These spaces are ideal hiding places for germs and bacteria.

Consent

When engaging in sex with multiple partners, always get the consent of everybody involved. If you are planning to engage in bondage and other sexual acts it is best that everybody gives their verbal consent that it is alright to do so. Many people who engage in bondage or dominant/submissive sexual acts also require safety words. Discuss these with your partners before starting so that everybody is aware and safe.

 

What Would Jesus Have to Say About a Fleshlight?

An interesting Twitter post went viral recently, where a mom seemed confused about a Fleshlight product she had found attached to the wall of her son’s shower. If you’re like her and unfamiliar with the Fleshlight brand, it is basically a series of products designed to emulate the female form. Not her entire form, just her sexual organ so that men may have a more realistic feel when masturbating.

Would Jesus Approve of This?

There are no words on masturbation anywhere in the Bible, let’s just get that out of the way right off the bat. While there is talk of adultery and sexual relationships outside of marriage neither Jesus or anyone that came before him have anything to say about self-gratification and sex.

Yet why do so many religions condemn it?

For many it is the thought process that gets you there that is considered morally unacceptable. Lust is considered a sin, and in order to use a Fleshlight there must be thoughts of lust swirling around your head. What about the married man who is fantasizing about his co-worker while masturbating? Isn’t that in a way a form of adultery? If you follow this line of thought then the only time it is biblically acceptable to masturbate is when you are either fantasizing about your spouse, or not fantasizing at all.

The Religious Argument for Masturbation and Fleshlight

Here is where the line between religion and masturbation turns gray. God created us in his image. Every sensation, thought and bodily function we experience is a part of that image, including sexual urges. He would not have given us eyes if he did not intend for us to see, or ears if he didn’t want us to hear, and he wouldn’t have come up with lubrication if he didn’t want us to sing joyous hymns in the rain. And he would not have provided us with sexual organs that give us pleasure if he did not want us to experience that pleasure.

Of course, he also gave us our brains that let us know when it is appropriate to give in to our sexual desires, and since we don’t want to commit adultery, or engage in sex outside of marriage the only obvious alternative is self-gratification. Masturbation allows you to unleash those sexual feelings that naturally grow inside of you without inflicting harm on another human being (too bad for them ;p).

Fleshlight

Masturbation can be viewed as a way of channeling your sexual desires away from illicit behaviors. It is for that reason that some religious leaders are now reevaluating their stance on the subject and accepting using a Fleshlight as a viable means of preserving ones faith in a more natural way.

 

Should Human Sexuality and Religion Naturally Be Enemies

Researchers have found that if you ask people to think about sex they were able to improve on analytical tasks, while asking them to think about love increased their creativity. What this goes to show is that when it comes to sex, people think in specific ways, while love is thought of in a more abstract manner. Other studies have shown that the tasks which require analytical thing tend to weaken religious beliefs, while thoughts of love strengthen it. It is for this reason that many believe most religions think of sex in a negative light, especially when it is not within the bounds of love.

This study was begun to prove the theory that there are two ways in which people are able to process information, either with broad strokes or specific attention to detail. It was also suggested that those who think about the long term future are less analytical because there are fewer details they know about what that future holds. This is opposed to those who focus on the present and all of the details that surround their daily lives.

Religious beliefs are fundamentally held in the part of the mind that is less analytical. It goes along with the same principle of trying to think about the future, if there is nothing concrete to validate the thoughts, then there is no reason to waste time in considering them. Since this is the same thinking that comes with sex, it can be concluded that sex purely for pleasure is at odds with religious beliefs.

Forbidden fruit --- Image by © Denis Scott/CORBIS

Forbidden fruit — Image by © Denis Scott/CORBIS

This possibility that thinking about sexual acts could weaken religious beliefs make it plausible to reason why many mainstream religions demonize sex, especially lust without love. Most modern religions teach that dwelling on lustful sexual thoughts is impure, and distracting on their spiritual growth. Even the act of taking some lube and self pleasuring sexually is considered sinful, making it obvious that this is not about trying to prevent pregnancy outside of marriage. More practical theologians would concur that it is better for a man to fulfill his sexual desires with an object like a fleshlight, rather than to seek the sexual comfort of a woman whom he does not love.

Older religions have a different view of sex, and in some the orgasm is considered to be a spiritual experience. This approach to sex and religion is more about loving the body that you were blessed with rather than considering natural tendencies to be the work of the devil.

There is a lot to consider when you think about your religious beliefs and where your own sexuality fits into them. Faith is your own, and when the time comes, you need to feel comfortable about the decisions and actions you took regarding your sexual encounters.

 
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